Monday, March 30, 2009

I would pick more daisies.

thought for the day:

"If I had my life to live over again, I wold try to make more mistakes next time!
I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this trip.

I know of very few things that I would take seriously.
I would take more trips.
I would be crazier.
I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets.
I would do more walking and looking.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I am one of those people who lives life prophylactically
and sensibly hour by hour, day after day.
Oh, I have had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I would have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another.
Instead, of living so many years ahead each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin, and a parachute.
If I had to do it over again, I would go places, do things and travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would play hookey more.

I would not make such good grades, except by accident.
I would ride on more merry go rounds.

I would pick more daisies."

-anonymous.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Nine.

I forgot to mention that today is J.D. and I's 9 months. Here's the poem I gave him today :)

You got my number because you wanted to drop a line. I agreed to a date because I felt so inclined. I fell for you fast because you seemed so mature, so old, so refined. The charming smile & bright blue eyes… should’ve been a warning sign, But whenever you invited me out, I couldn’t decline. Every time I saw you I got shivers up my spine and it wasn’t long before I was on cloud nine…Your life and mine began to combine. We swam and danced and talked and kissed and dined. We spent the summer growing in love with our hands intertwined. Then at the end, our relationship had to be defined. I held up a big stop sign- You said “Maybe this could be divine.” And so… we headed up to Utah to laugh and play in the warm sunshine and despite my best efforts, I fell prey to your tricky design. You were so kind, and optimistic and you never whined. You were there when I needed you, but I never felt confined. I wanted to be by your side in rain or shine, but I still couldn’t make the ultimate decision, and so I pined… until you gave me a deadline. This was the plan that you outlined: “Decide no- we’ll go our separate ways and it’ll be fine. Decide yes- and I’ll call the airlines, We’ll go to Texas and I’ll ask your Dad if you can be mine.” I finally realized I didn’t need a vision, a revelation or a sign. I didn’t need to be Einstein. When I imagined my life, you’re the one I wanted in the storyline. So I committed my heart and said I love you, bolded and underlined. And despite the fact I don’t like canines, you asked me the day before Valentine’s, if I would marry you and be with you for the rest of time, and I said yes, despite your traffic fines. I love you forever honey. Happy nine!

What?

Sometimes girls are hard to get. Sometimes I don't understand why we are the way we are. My life is so happy. I just landed the internship I wanted for the summer. I'm engaged to someone who loves me more than I deserve and who would do anything for me. I'm flying home to Texas in two weeks to be the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding. And the month after that I'll be a bridesmaid at another wonderful girl's wedding. I have no papers due or tests to take this week. I'm doing well in school. Wedding plans are underway. My room is clean. I've been having good scripture study the past couple of days. All the signs point to... happy.

Still, for some reason.. all I want to do today is cry and I can't figure out why. I feel down. My heart is heavy. Something is nagging at my insides. What the heck?