Sunday, May 27, 2012

Being a Mama

I've been really lucky with this baby so far. I haven't had any of the morning sickness, nausea, food cravings, or heartburn normally associated with pregnancy. Mostly, I've just been tired, but my energy has started to return in the last few weeks.  

Because I can't feel any movements yet, I sometimes forget she's there. It's so weird to think about a little human being growing and learning inside of me! It's a miracle my body knows how to support her without me having to consciously do anything. In so many ways, the development of my little daughter is a testament to the reality of God. I mean. . . how else could such magic exist? 

I often find myself daydreaming about what life will be like when she's here. I can't wait to see her, to hold her, to cuddle her. I want her to know so many things and constantly feel this overwhelming weight of everything I could teach her. When this pressure sits heavily on my heart, I try to turn my thoughts to Heavenly Father and feel the comfort of the Spirit. I know ultimately the most important thing I can teach her is this: she is a child of God and even when she doesn't know all the answers in life, He does. 

I figure one of the best ways to teach a principle is to live it. So lately, as I've been feeling the incredible stress of being a mama, I've just given my fear to God and let Him replace it with peace. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. . . 
But I'm also confident I can make it as a mother when I have the Lord on my side. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Baby Girl.

Earlier this week, JD and I had an ultrasound where we were able to find out the gender of our little one. After getting to see all its tiny movements and hear about its healthy growth, we were so anxious to know whether it was a girl or boy. However, we told the ultrasound tech we didn't want to find out at the hospital and asked if she would write down the gender on a slip of paper and put it in a sealed envelope. We closed our eyes and squeezed each other's hands while she checked and took measurements to see if it was a teeny guy or gal. Oh, it was so nerve-racking! 

After the appointment, we took the envelope to a bakery and special ordered a cake. The inside icing would be blue for a boy or pink for a girl. We invited friends and family over on Friday night for the big gender reveal. I made cute pink bows for "team girl" and goofy mustaches for "team boy" and guests had to pick their team upon arrival. We had hawaiian haystacks for dinner and chatted with our friends. . . and then! it was time to cut the cake! I was so shaky and excited. 

When I saw that pretty pink icing for the first time, my heart skipped. A girl! A baby girl! I'm going to be a mama to a precious baby girl!

We were not-so-secretly hoping for a girl all along! And now that we know she's a she, she seems so much more real. A daughter. Our daughter. We've just been giggly with excitement all day.