Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Love and Light

Years ago, when I was choosing a name for my business, I was drawn to the alliteration of "The Sunshine Space" and the catchy association my name had to that title. It felt right. I was aiming to create joyful, playful home decor pieces and the word "sunshine" seemed to fit my vibe. I kept the name when I started screen-printing because my goal with clothing design was the same as my aim with decor design: make stuff that's uplifting & "feel-goody." I re-branded this blog with the intention of creating a s u n s h i n e space on the internet-  a bright site with beautiful pictures, happy moments, inspiring DIY and craft projects, and messages orienting readers to the Ultimate Source of light, our Savior. 

. . . But it fizzled. For the past few years, I've carried a certain level of guilt regarding my "business" and my "blog." My brain rattled with all kinds of thoughts in connection to The Sunshine Space. 

What's the point? I haven't been actively engaged in building my brand, sharing my message, or creating anything for months and months on end. It's too hard. Too time-consuming. Too stressful. Too much. I don't feel like the reward in the creation process outweighs the stress of making perfect items to sell. There is no joy in this. I don't know what to say on the blog. I haven't been taking enough pictures. I don't know how to brand my items. How should my shop be connected to my blog? Does it make sense to do it all under the umbrella of "The Sunshine Space"? I don't like the style of the shirts I ordered. Dang it. I've made so many mistakes. I should cut my losses, sell my equipment, stop. But what about the parts I do love? Designing, drawing, composing. Sharing messages of hope. Creating good and beautiful things- physical items, words and sentences, feelings. Why did I have such a pull towards "The Sunshine Space" in the first place? How can I add light to the world? What is my purpose? What fuels me? What's the point?

And on and on. Then, one day earlier this year, I was sitting in a downstairs room of my basement- the room I go to ponder, to read, to make things, to display my scrapbooks, to journal- and a thought came. "This is The Sunshine Space," uttered the Spirit. This? This room? The window of the room faces the south side of my home and is an awesome source of light. There are no window treatments on that particular window, so the sunlight just spills in. It is a sunshine space. But The Sunshine Space? What does that mean? And all of a sudden, peace and understanding split open across my heart.

It was time to register Tenley for kindergarten and I just hadn't been able to bring myself to do it. I'd been considering the possibility of homeschooling. Starting to pray about whether that could be a viable option for my children, for me. Intimidated by the thought of it, but intrigued. Almost too timid to openly discuss it, to say the words aloud. Unaware of all the options, but open-minded. Interested. Searching. "This is The Sunshine Space," again.

Oh! A place of love and light. This is The Sunshine Space, the school. The haven for learning, the safe space I want to cultivate for my children.  A place to develop creativity, gratitude, critical thinking, curiosity, a love of learning, optimism, perseverance, kindness. A place to seek further light and knowledge. A place for sharing, loving, and learning. Together. The Sunshine Space. 

And that is how I came to feel such a renewed zeal for building The Sunshine Space. All these years of working and creating and seeking meaning and planning. . . they were preparing me for the path I can see unfolding before me now: homeschooling. I want to create channels of love and light- of hope, joy, testimony. I want to share goodness, to make beautiful things, to find understanding. But the place I start is home. The most essential sphere of influence I have is with my children. I can start here. I can do this.

I am excited (and terrified!) to share my homeschool journey here and I hope to support and encourage other Mommas on the way.

Love and light,

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