Sunday, November 15, 2009


Count it. JD and I have been married for three months. Blows my mind, really. Who would've thought I would be 20 and married? Not I.

It still seems unreal to me that I live in this apartment with this boy- a boy I've seen naked! So weird. JD doesn't think it's weird because we're married. I still think it's weird that we're married in the first place. Clearly, I enjoy being married and it's not weird because I love him and think he's fabulous and wouldn't want anyone else... but still, married? Me? No...

These months have flown by. It's incredible how quickly sand passes through the hourglass of life. Moments. Days. Weeks. Gone. I try to take memory snapshots in my head of things I want to remember. I try to enjoy the little stuff.

It's hard to accept growing up and moving on and being an adult. It's hard to balance expenses, and school, and the needs of a spouse, and your own needs, and church callings and responsibilities, and cooking, and cleaning, and maintaining an uplifting atmosphere in a home. And at the same time... it's a lot easier when you get to do it all with your best friend.

I'm a stressball. Whenever one stressful event passes, the next one hits me in the face. I get worked up about school and bills and projects and everything. I rarely just chill. I'm so lucky to have JD, who just hugs me and makes everything okay.

I was so nervous to get married because I didn't think I was ready. Now I realize... I might have never been ready... because life never stops. It doesn't get easier. I wouldn't have reached a point where I was "perfect" and prepared to be the poster wife I wanted to be. The point of marriage is to make each other better, to get a little closer to perfect every day. I say if you find someone who lifts you up, who carries you through your stressful days, who listens to you when you are overwhelmed, who makes you better than you are, who encourages you to be your very best self, who doesn't diminish your worries, who acknowledges you as a person, and who cheers you up just by being in the room with you.. marry him. :)

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