Friday, May 22, 2015

She's Watching.

A few weeks ago, we brought our camera outside because JD wanted to snap a few pictures of me with my pregnant belly. As he was doing this, Tenley became fascinated with the camera and wanted to try taking a few photos of her own. JD taught her how to hold the big device in her little hands and showed her what button to push. She was thoroughly entertained by the activity, directing us where to sit and when to say "Cheese!" These pictures are the result. They are blurry, off-centered, and unedited. But they're so endearing to me because they're what Tenley sees when she's watching us. I love that. 

I know she's always watching. That fact alone helps me make better life choices- I'm kinder, softer, more Christ-centered. . . because I want to teach her those things. 

Today was a bit different than most Friday mornings. Usually I work 9-5 on Fridays, but today I get to go in late. I had plans to sleep in and make pancakes for Tenley and I after JD left early for work. However, Tenley woke me up an hour before my alarm was set, asking for juice. I got up to use the restroom and pour her a little cup. When I returned to the bed, I scooped her up and she settled herself in the crook of my arm. I was set on getting a few more zzz's.

Tenley: Don't go to sleep.
Me: I'm still tired. Why don't you want me to go to sleep?
T: I want to snuggle.
M (heart melting): Oh, okay. Do you like snuggling?
T: Snuggling is so fun, Momma.

We spent a few minutes tucking hair behind ears, kissing each other and giving little hugs and squeezes.

T: Momma, look at me in my eyes please.
I looked at her, wondering why she needed my attention.
T(whispering): I love you so much.

I know she's watching because she learned that from her Dad. When they say "good night" in the evenings, he often asks her to look him right in the eyes before telling her how much he loves her. She remembered and did the same thing to me. It was so sweet and perfect and innocent. She also asked me for ladybug kisses (she meant butterfly kisses), which was about the cutest slip-up I could imagine. 

I hope when Tenley watches us she sees love and understanding and patience and charity. And I hope when she observes other less desirable things, as she inevitably will, she keeps looking until she watches the unfolding of forgiveness, renewal, and grace. 

I'm glad she's watching us. We are better for it. 

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