Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dear little ones,

I can't wait for you to be part of our family, but I still need some time. When your dad and I were first talking about getting married and starting a new life, I was worried about lots of things. I was worried because I'm not a very good cook. I hope by the time you're here I'll have had enough practice that I won't be so bad. I was worried about chores, and bills, and taxes, and life... and I wasn't sure if I could do it. It's been almost a year now and lots of things worry me, but I don't get as stressed because Daddy balances me out and keeps me sane.

I think often of what our life will be like and I'm excited. I'm excited to tickle your toes and give you butterfly kisses. I'm excited to practice your reading and listen to the stories you come up with in your head. Let's make stories up together. I'm excited to take you to the park and to the fair and to the pool.

I'm excited to bake cookies and eat watermelon from the rind. I hope we live in Texas, and you love the heat and the sun and the southern manners as much as I do. And if we don't live there, I hope there's a place for it in your heart. I hope you guys get a long enough to endure car rides and road trips and we can have (mostly) pleasant travel memories.

I'm excited to teach you about the Savior and to hear your little prayers. I'm excited to watch you grow in your understanding and love for the Gospel. I'm excited to see the sacrifices you are willing to make to hold true to your standards. Don't be mad when I want you to choose a modest prom dress and I won't let you buy a string bikini. I hope your teenage friends like to hang out at our house. I hope we throw parties and you like having neighbors and friends over as much as Dad and I do.

I hope you push hard at whatever you do. I hope you are strong and you work hard. I hope you pursue things that make you happy. I hope you don't give up when you want to stop. I hope you don't get embarrassed by your obnoxious mother on the sidelines. I hope you like football. I hope you are healthy and you care about what goes into your body.

Dearest kiddos, there is so much joy I see in the future. But right now I'm not the best mom I can be, and I'm not quite ready. I need to work on improving my habits and my life right now. I need to make time for meaningful scripture study every day. I need to exercise because I want to be around for a long, long time. I want to learn how to sew and make things with my own two hands. I also want a little time to work as a recreation therapist. I know the things I'm learning in school will help me in the relationships I have with you. I want to help people... I hope that rubs off on you a little. I feel like I need to run my life a little better than I am right now before you get here. But just so you know, I think about you all the time. Sometimes when I see other peoples' babies, I get really anxious about having you all to myself. But for now, you'll have to keep waiting patiently. Don't jump too hard on the floors of heaven.

I'm working hard to be ready for when you're here.
I love you,

1 comment:

Cory Sue said...

i almost cried when I read this post! You are going to be an amazing momma! You're little babies are so lucky to have you!