Friday, March 26, 2010

A Marriage Questionnaire

I recently finished the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. I picked up the book in a used bookstore over a year ago when I was searching for textbooks. The copy I have is battered and worn and some of the pages are falling out. I thought the book was overall very good. Written in the 1930's, it is supposedly one of the most influential books of all time (according to one of my professors, it changed his life. i can't actually remember which one said that though...) Nonetheless, it gives practical advice and tips concerning ways to make friends, increase your popularity, win people to your way of thinking, increase your ability to get things done, handle complaints, avoid arguments, and make you both a better speaker and a more entertaining conversationalist. I really enjoyed the language Carnegie used and the little stories and examples he gave to illustrate his points. The last section of the book, Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier, included a questionnaire reprinted from a 1933 article, "Why Marriages Go Wrong," by Emmet Crozier. I would like to share the questionnaire with you because it really made me think of how I can improve my interactions with both my husband and my other friends and associates. Maybe you'll find it interesting as well.

The first section is for husbands. I would really rather not type out all those questions.

Here is the section for wives.
1. Do you give your husband complete freedom in his business affairs, and do you refrain from criticizing his associates, his choice of a secretary, or the hours he keeps?
2. Do you try your best to make your home interesting and attractive?
3. Do you vary the household menu so that he never quite knows what to expect when he sits down to the table?
4. Do you have an intelligent grasp of your husband's business so you can discuss it with him helpfully?
5. Can you meet financial reverses bravely, cheerfully, without criticizing your husband for his mistakes or comparing him unfavourably with more successful men?
6. Do you make a special effort to get along amiably with his mother or other relatives?
7. Do you dress with an eye for your husband's likes and dislikes in colour and style?
8. Do you compromise little differences of opinion in the interest of harmony?
9. Do you make an effort to learn games your husband likes, so you can share his leisure hours?

10. Do you keep track of the day's news, the new books, and new ideas, so you can hold your husband's intellectual interest?

These questions really triggered my thinking as I've pondered lately ways to improve as a wife, a sister, a friend, and a person.

1 comment:

Holly said...

Maybe a strange comment as to the subject of your blog, but great picture!